oneurope_live

The problem is, I don't know who the 215 people are, nor which chances they're wrecking. But I doubt that the contest can be won from lower than 8th on the jury scoreboard.

Tomorrow night, several hundred thousand people around Europe will wreck 20 or so countries' hopes of winning. With the slight asymmetry in how the final points are worked out, I reckon you'd need to be top 5 with televoters.

So what's the key question for each of them, then?

FINLAND - can it make an impact as a show opener?
BOSNIA - can bank a sizable televote all over the Balkans and central Europe, but will the juries agree?
DENMARK - is there a limit on how many men can play midtempo guitars before fatigue sets in?
LITHUANIA - is there more to her qualification than just the great draw and contrast it had on Tuesday?
HUNGARY - the first uptempo stomper of the night, but can she pull it off and is it too early for her?
IRELAND - tweenie televotes all over the continent, but will the music professionals be impressed?
SWEDEN - tweenie televotes all over the continent, but will the music professionals be impressed?
ESTONIA - a cutesy, slight change of pace, but is it an interesting composition or 3 different songs gaffer-taped together?
GREECE - fishing alone in the Balkan ethno-pond this year - but are there any fish in that pond?
RUSSIA - are we overlooking this one at our peril?
FRANCE - the song's a jury magnet, he's a televote magnet... or are they?
ITALY - surely the professionals are going to love this, but will Europe en masse get it?
SWITZERLAND - will Europe be back from the loo before she starts going "lalalalala"?
UNITED KINGDOM - is this as good as it should be?
MOLDOVA - will juries like this enough to supplement the Zdob si Zdub fanbase and the ESC bonkers vote?
GERMANY - does it actually matter that Lena's already won this thing once?
ROMANIA - is there a market for a simple old-fashioned happy-clappy singalong pop song?
AUSTRIA - amazing presentation and performance, but is the underlying song good enough?
AZERBAIJAN - does chemistry matter?
SLOVENIA - are they and Austria fighting each other to a standstill?
ICELAND - quite capable of playing to both constituencies, but is there enough in the song to carry it home?
SPAIN - is it the party song that gets everyone going, or just a piece of airy fluff in Foreign?
UKRAINE - the song's almost certainly not up to scratch, but is Europe willing to vote for some arresting artwork?
SERBIA - is retro in or out at the moment?
GEORGIA - fishing alone in the noise-rock pond, but just like Greece - has that pond got any fish in it?

Sito. Sito. Sito. Thinkthinkthink. It's time to employ the QUICKSORT algorithm...

Pass 1, pivot on Finland:

BOSNIA-H, IRELAND, ESTONIA, RUSSIA, FRANCE, UNITED KINGDOM, GERMANY, AUSTRIA, AZERBAIJAN, SLOVENIA, ICELAND, SERBIA, FINLAND, DENMARK, LITHUANIA, HUNGARY, SWEDEN, GREECE, ITALY, SWITZERLAND, MOLDOVA, ROMANIA, SPAIN, UKRAINE, GEORGIA.

Pass 2, pivot on BOSNIA-H and DENMARK

FRANCE, GERMANY, AUSTRIA, AZERBAIJAN, ICELAND, BOSNIA-H, IRELAND, ESTONIA, RUSSIA, UNITED KINGDOM, SLOVENIA, SERBIA, FINLAND, HUNGARY, SWEDEN, GREECE, ITALY, SWITZERLAND, MOLDOVA, ROMANIA, DENMARK, LITHUANIA, SPAIN, UKRAINE, GEORGIA.

Pass 3, pivot on FRANCE, IRELAND, HUNGARY, LITHUANIA

GERMANY, AUSTRIA, ICELAND, FRANCE, AZERBAIJAN, BOSNIA-H, ESTONIA, RUSSIA, UNITED KINGDOM, SLOVENIA, IRELAND, SERBIA, FINLAND, GREECE, ITALY, MOLDOVA, ROMANIA, HUNGARY, SWEDEN, SWITZERLAND, DENMARK, SPAIN, UKRAINE, GEORGIA, LITHUANIA

Pass 4, pivot on GERMANY, (AZERBAIJAN), ESTONIA, (SERBIA), GREECE, SWEDEN, SPAIN.

GERMANY, AUSTRIA, ICELAND, FRANCE, AZERBAIJAN, BOSNIA-H, RUSSIA, UNITED KINGDOM, ESTONIA, SLOVENIA, IRELAND, SERBIA, FINLAND, ITALY, ROMANIA, GREECE, MOLDOVA, HUNGARY, SWITZERLAND, SWEDEN, DENMARK, GEORGIA, SPAIN, UKRAINE, LITHUANIA

Pass 5, pivot on AUSTRIA, RUSSIA, (SLOVENIA), ITALY, (MOLDOVA), (SWITZERLAND), (GEORGIA), (UKRAINE)

GERMANY, AUSTRIA, ICELAND, FRANCE, AZERBAIJAN, BOSNIA-H, RUSSIA, UNITED KINGDOM, ESTONIA, SLOVENIA, IRELAND, SERBIA, FINLAND, ROMANIA, ITALY, GREECE, MOLDOVA, HUNGARY, SWITZERLAND, SWEDEN, DENMARK, GEORGIA, SPAIN, UKRAINE, LITHUANIA

Sort complete, total time 7 minutes and 47 seconds. Final sort:

01 GERMANY
02 AUSTRIA
03 ICELAND
04 FRANCE
05 AZERBAIJAN
06 BOSNIA-H
07 RUSSIA
08 UNITED KINGDOM
09 ESTONIA
10 SLOVENIA
11 IRELAND
12 SERBIA
13 FINLAND
14 ROMANIA
15 ITALY
16 GREECE
17 MOLDOVA
18 HUNGARY
19 SWITZERLAND
20 SWEDEN
21 DENMARK
22 GEORGIA
23 SPAIN
24 UKRAINE
25 LITHUANIA

Mmm, that's clearly complete nonsense. Oh well, I'll just need to work out a better sorting algorithm before Hamburg 2012...